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New fight against cancer charity raffle!
02/10/2009 -- Raffle # 1 is now closed.
Raffle # 2 is now closed.
Thanks to all who have participated!
To my dear friends and family…
I lost my father one month ago, thus concluding a dramatic 5 year battle against cancer. He was only 66. Most days are still cloudy and depressing for me but the occasional ray of sunlight breaks through and I can feel some strength returning, at least enough to start sharing my thoughts and celebrate the man who will always be - My Father…
Many of you have been following his condition since we hosted our first charity raffle back in July of 2007. http://forum.ascendacoustics.com/showthread.php?t=2762
He was in bad shape back then but his condition continued to digress. The radiation and chemo treatments he received did not work, his cancer continued to grow during the entire treatment period. We had thought we were out of options but the doctors at Sloan Kettering recommended a radical surgery that could possibly result in a cure.
This surgery would consist of the removal and subsequent reconstruction of his lower jaw using part of his femur, a complete glossectomy (full removal of the tongue), removal and reconstruction of the floor of his mouth, and a complete neck dissection (removal of lymph nodes). This surgery would result in permanent and complete loss of speech, facial deformity and a permanent tracheotomy. He would also never again eat or drink by mouth, relying on a caretaker to inject nourishment directly into his abdomen by way of a PEG tube. I still question whether I would have made the same choice, but my father chose life, the chance to live - even when faced with such dramatic changes to the quality of his life.
Surgery lasted 19 hours; my father made it through and started what was expected to be a year long recovery. However, after only a few weeks post surgery, my father's surgeons recommended yet another full course of daily radiation and weekly chemotherapy (6 weeks worth) in the hopes to kill any residual cancer cells. We had already been told that he had received his lifetime limit but the doctors thought he was strong enough to handle it and it would increase his chances of a permanent cure.
Head and neck radiation is considered to be one of the most painful cancer treatments. It was hard enough for my father to endure these treatments previously, but the doctors wanted him to go through with this again, only a few weeks after such major surgery. It was his choice and my father chose to do it in the hopes that it would increase his chances at a cure. It was horrible, requiring many emergency room visits and extended hospital stays. To make matters worse, because he had lost the ability to speak, communication with doctors and nurses became impossible and required my mother to become his full time caretaker and interpreter of various hand signals and hard to read writing. The situation became especially difficult for me; living 3000 miles away I had no way to communicate with my father without flying in to see him.
Miraculously, he made it through the treatments but he was now severely weakened. The strength and old-school toughness my father represented was gone. He chose life for his children and his grandchildren but in doing so he sacrificed his physical self. Simply getting out of bed to take a walk became a challenge and his pain was dramatic and constant. My entire family suffered seeing him this way and his pain was felt by all of us…
Approximately 3 months ago, his gallbladder became infected and required removal. This was supposed to be an easy surgery, especially considering what he had already been through. There were complications though and he developed a serious E-Coli infection that would keep him in the hospital for 2 months. My dear mother would not leave her husband during this time, sleeping by his side in a hospital chair or, when available, an empty bed. She could not leave him; my father could not speak and could not communicate his needs to anyone but my mother. It was a time period in my life I hope to forget but I know I never will. I simply had no idea if my father would recover and I had no way to communicate with him.
The infection subsided but my father was not able to regain any strength. His body had simply had enough. It was then that his oncologist told us that a suspect area in his lungs had grown considerably and it was, of course, most likely to be cancer. Radiation, chemotherapy, surgery were no longer considered possible options for my dad. There was talk about alternative treatments but this would only be possible if his strength returned… It never did and hospice care was recommended.
I spent the next 2 1/2 weeks by my father's bedside selfishly trying to "pull" as much of him into me as I could, while watching the lethal doses of morphine drip into his body. It was the most beautiful of times and it was the worst of times. My father was peaceful and at rest for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime, but we all knew the inevitable outcome. I will never forget my 6yr old son fearlessly braving the assortment of machines and tangle of tubes in order to cuddle up close and tightly hug his beloved grandfather. It was a hug that lasted for 20 minutes, but it was a hug that will be remembered by me for eternity…
My father passed 3 days later while I held his hand tight to my chest. It was peaceful…
My father's fight has ended but I feel mine is just beginning. I intend to keep fighting against this most devastating disease and I am asking for your assistance. Ascend Acoustics would not exist if not for my father's encouragement, assistance, and his unique way of helping me clarify my own vision. He wanted nothing more than to beat this horrible disease and together with your help, I will keep his fight alive.
I am pleased to announce we will once again be hosting various charity raffles in support of the fight against cancer. We rose close to $10,000 last year, including a generous $3,000 donation raised by our friend and competitor here: http://av123forum.com/showthread.php?t=22479
We are setting our sights a bit higher this time. Our goal is to raise enough money to name and direct a cancer research fund at Memorial Sloan Kettering. The fund will be named after my father and will be specifically directed at oral cancer research. Oral cancer is rarely in the headlines but the 5 year mortality rate is a devastating 50% and the rate of occurrence is increasing. It demands our attention now! I am also pleased to announce that we are not alone in this cause; my brother-in-law's employer will be making a significant donation in order to help us reach our goal of starting a new cancer research fund.
The Deadly Statistics
- Every hour of every day, one American dies of oral cancer.
- The mortality rate associated with oral cancer has not improved significantly in the last 40 years. In fact, recent statistics published by the American Cancer Society indicate that while the incidence and death rates for cancers overall has decreased, the incidence for oral cancer has increased by 5.5% and the death rate has increased by 1.5%.
- The death rate in the Unites States for oral cancer is higher than that of cervical cancer, Hodgkin's disease, cancer of the brain, liver, testes, kidney or ovarian cancer.
- More than 30,000 Americans will receive an oral cancer diagnosis this year. In five years, less than 57% will still be alive.
- 8,000 Americans will die each year of oral cancer.
Raffle # 2: 250 tickets at $50 each
1st prize: Complete 5.1 system consisting of 1 pair Sierra-1 mains + 1 Sierra-1 center (winners choice of finish) + 1 pr HTM-200SE + 1 Rythmik F12SE subwoofer + 1 Harman Kardon AVR-354 receiver. Retail Value = $3136.00
2nd prize: 5 channel speaker system consisting of 1 pr CMT-340 SE mains + CMT-340 SE center + 1 pair HTM-200 SE. Retail value = $1048.00
3rd prize: 1 pair CMT-340 SE. Retail value = $568
4th prize: 1 pair CBM-170 SE. Retail value = $348
Thank you in advance for all of your support.
My father was a finance professor at Rutgers University, a financial analyst on Wall Street, a real estate mogul, businessman and true entrepreneur. He was a loving husband, caring father and a wonderful grandfather. He loved to read, build model airplanes, watch horror movies and loved nature. He was a humble and anonymous philanthropist, and the most patient and genuinely interested listener I have ever known…
I feel his loss every moment of every day and I am proud to have been his first born son.
Rest easy now, I miss you dad…
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Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!
Godspeed Dave, this is a beautiful thing you're doing.
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Those are beautiful words you wrote about your father, may he rest in peace and happiness; as he is most assuredly proud of you.
On a side note: this raffle is a fantastic idea, I think I'll join in!
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I am sorry to hear of your loss Dave. May God bless you and your family and help you to deal with this very emotional time. I will gladly buy a ticket for each raffle as my family has personally dealt with the horrors of cancer as well.
Mike
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Sorry to hear about your loss.
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Dave, As you know my father passed away 2 years ago, a very difficult time to say the least. My cousin Tom who I grew up with sent me a beautiful card and in it said to me: "Your Father was a wonderful and caring man, it is now your charge to carry on the family name in his honor" By the looks of things, and being fortunate enough to get to know you a bit over these last 2 years Dave, I say the same to you. I am truly sorry for your loss, and as I always say, whenever you need, please call or email me.
Peace,
Jim
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Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!
Dave, it was so difficult reading that story, but thank you for sharing. Cancer is a disease that has also ravaged my family. I am impressed by your resilience and dedication to making a difference.
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My deepest condolences, Dave.
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Dave, to be honest after reading this, I just broke out in tears. The reason-my Mom is enduring the same exact thing as your dad did. However, her cancer is in her lungs. She underwent surgery to remove the mass, but to no avail as it was too large. Since then, my Mom has undergone radiation treatments as well as chemo. Both of which, have just about killed her. In fact, my Mom had to stop the chemo because of her white blood count being so low. Dave, it really kills me when my Mom tells me she is in so much pain, yet I am more or less powerless to do anything about it. Like your Dad, my Mom has a strong will to live. But, her strength is fading and I think she has given up. :(:( To my surprise, my Mom is smoking again. BTW, my Mom is 68 years-old and we are the same age Dave.
I just received my 170's today! Looking forward to getting them up and running so to speak. I commend you for raising money for this terrible disease. We all are affected by it in one way or another. Sadly, my older sister had throat cancer and my older brother had colon cancer. Both are in remission right now. I hope and pray it does not come back. Soon, I am getting a colon scope done myself. Anyways, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family Dave. God bless all of you as I know your family is very proud of what you are doing. Kudos to you Dave!
Cheers,
Phil
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Dave,
That was a tough thing to read. I admire your spirits and ability to talk so openly about this terrible disease and how it has effected your loved ones. Your father sounds like he had a very enjoyable and prosperous life! Let you continue his tradition!
I will work something out for my business to make a contribution for the raffle in memory of your father and to fight this terrible disease we all encounter one way or another.
Best wishes during the Holiday season!
Brandon
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Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!
what an incredible post. i had a meeting to go to after reading and i was trying not to tear up! haha
i was ready to donate before even finding out about the raffle. the fact that you are giving so much for this cause is just as powerful a testament to your father as the original post.
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Sorry for your loss Dave, I know how difficult it is because I also lost my father to cancer. The raffle is a wonderful thing to do in tribute to your dad.
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I extend my heartfelt condolences Dave. That was honestly very difficult for me to read. I know probably most of us here have been affected in one way or another by cancer but your family's ordeal is truly one of the saddest I've ever heard.
From what you've mentioned of your father I'd say he'd be extremely proud of you for what you're doing.
Count me in for doing my small part.
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Dave, you have my condolences. My grandfather, who did not have oral cancer, but prostate, also went through part of the same ordeal when it spread into his neck and other places. I have seen the horror that is face/neck radiation and commend you in your desire to set up the fund in your father's name. May God bless you and yours.
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I read my father's story- after having lived it- and it still seems like it just can't be real. Only it is. I am David's little sister- Michael's youngest child and only daughter. I live close to my parents, and am a physician, so was very involved in the day to day nightmare that we were living. I have seen and cared for many ill patients- but to see my own father so devastatingly sick, was almost more than I could take.... BUT- The strength and courage that my father showed each and every minute of every single day was astounding, and if he could get through the day.. and choose life- than I had better too- for I truly believe that he was enduring all that he was for me, my brothers, my mother, and his grandchildren. He wanted to be here to enjoy his family and his friends... so to honor him- PLEASE make sure you do what he wished he would. ENJOY all the moments with your loved ones. Treasure them. Do not take them for granted. As so many of you know- a diagnosis of cancer can come out of the blue, in the blink of an eye- and turn your world upside down. Nothing is ever the same. Whether it is oral cancer, ovarian cancer, pancreatic cancer, brain cancer, lung cancer, melanoma, colon, breast, prostate, kidney, thyroid, leukemoa, lymphoma, liver cancer or any of the many other kinds of cancer- It's Cancer- and its awful. My heart goes out to each and every one of you who has been affected in some way by this nightmare of a disease. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words, support, and generosity. Stay strong. You are not alone.
Rebekah
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Wonderful message Rebekah! Having lost both of my parents, one to brain cancer, the best that I can do is live a life they would be proud of. Which looks to be exactly what you and your brother are doing.
As always, you and your family are in my prayers.
Peace,
Jim
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Thanks to all of you for your support!!!
It means tons to me and my family and I feel really good that we are doing this...
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Dave and Beka -
My condolences, I lost my dad just over a year ago. For the upcoming holiday I have my 13 year old pulling out old pics of him to make a collage.
Gene
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Dave:
Thanks for doing this. My donation has been sent. In times like these I find it best to take the time to count your blessings. Its apparent that family is important to you. Take it from an old-timer, its really all about family and friends in life.
I surmise from your sharing statements, your dad was really proud of you. I'll tell you why that's so. Your business success is one thing but your grasp of enjoying family and friends is what your dad was most proud to bestow on you. Its up to you now to pass the gift to your own children.
Remember than true joy and happiness can not fully be appreciated unless one experiences deep pain and sorrow. That my friend, was your father's last gift to you. You'll know what this truly means some day.
If there is anything you need, just ask.
A Friend.
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David,
This is a great thing that you are doing to honor the memory of you father. I too lost my father to cancer, and applaud your efforts to direct a cancer research fund at Memorial Sloan Kettering.
I have purchsed a ticket for each of the raffles and wish you all success.
My condolences to you and your family during this difficult time.
Jim
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David,
First, my most heartfelt condolences and prayers for your family. I lost my father to cancer when I was 20 and we went through a similar situation. So, I know a little about what your father, you and your family went through. I can tell you that the hurt doesn't go away but it does get easier with time.
My children and my wife never met him or got to know him so you need do all that you can to keep his image and life in their thoughts. It will help you and them remember him. Then, as others have said, it's up to you to honor and keep his legacy.
Our son-in-law's parents are serving a mission in Africa and they shared this quote from one of their new converts:
"What you do for yourself is lost when you die but what you do for others is your legacy."
Your father has left an amazing legacy, your responsibility is to add to it. Our prayers and holiday greetings to you and your family at this time. Your friend, Dave.
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Unfortunately stories like Dave's and the others shared here are much to common. In my case it was my mother and similar to Dave’s Dad involved long dangerous surgeries, infections obtained from the hospital, long bouts of chemo, and in general watching my mother be in so much pain, but refuse to give up because she wanted to see her children (I was only 16 at the time) and grandchildren finish grow up. Until you watch a loved one go through it, one can't imagine how much of an impact cancer can have on mind, body, and soul.
All I can say to Dave and his family is there will be positives that come out of this, though you likely can not see them now. Certainly one of them is this very charity raffle. Your family will come out stronger and closer then it has been in years; unfortunately it sometimes takes a tragedy to remind us what is important. There are others, but they tend to be more personal. I know these are not comforting now, but a year from now they will be.
Good luck to you Dave, Rebekah, and the rest of your family. Strongly consider going to a cancer specific grief support group if you are not already. The hospice your Dad was in should be able to point you in the right direction.
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Hey Dave,
It's an ordeal no doubt. Lost my Dad to CA in '01, Mom in '04. Feeling helpless was one of the hardest parts for me. Hang in there...it does get better. Keep your Dad's spirit alive in your heart, and he will be right beside you always, as my parents are with me. The raffle is a wonderful way of honoring your father, and all those dads, moms, sisters, brothers, children and spouses who have had to fight a singularly difficult battle with a guiltless, barbaric adversary. Some have won, many have lost, but they all endure in the hearts of their loved ones. Your dad stands proud of you, as does anyone who understands the journey you have had to endure.
Jack
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Dave’s younger brother Jay writes….
The outpouring of support and empathy from this community is incredibly moving. I’ve read every reply thus far and your words have got me all choked up. Many of you went through a cancer experience with a friend or family member and that says something about its growing prevalence. It’s tough revisiting the events of my fathers struggle because it is still so fresh. However, its important to begin taking the experience and turning it into good and that is what this raffle is all about. I live close to home so I was there with my parents going through the ordeals and it was horrible as many of you know. The shocking news that changes everything, the slow recovery and then maybe some good news, then more bad news, the hospitals, the surgeries, therapies, emergencies, the new equipment in the house, pill bottles everywhere, the tough calls to family members, needing help from friends, the fear and panic, the changes in your everyday, the constant underlying nerves…. and then the other side… all of the close family moments shared together, relying on each other for strength, the wonderful nurses and doctors along the way, realizing you cant take time for granted and using the moments you have for deep connection, saying what you need to say, remembering all the good times, taking great pictures, getting together more often, seeing each other going beyond their best, and being propelled deeper into the depths of this world whilst trying to find meaning and good amongst such difficult times. My Mother was lifted to incredible heights in the care, compassion, devotion, and love she displayed and continues to, for my father and family. May we all grow from strength to strength with minimal hardship. All of your support and wonderful words bring light into this world…. Thanks for being a part of raising my father’s soul by honoring him and helping others with your rightful intentions and actions. Good luck on the raffle and deep healing thanks…. Jay Fab
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Another bump for the cause. I have sent in payment for some tickets.
Like many here, I have close relatives who are both cancer survivors and victims.
My heartfelt best wishes to the Fabrikant family - I know this must be a tough holiday season for you.
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Dave, I was so saddened to read your follow-up, but am so happy to see that you are seizing the opportunity to help others who are fighting this disease now and will be in the future. PayPal is sent, and I can't think of a better gift to give this holiday season. And thank you to you and Ascend for putting up some amazing products for the cause.
Your friend and web host,
Matt
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Dave,
Your products and how you do business reflect your dedication, integrity, and honor. You and your company are truly remarkable in this day and age. Thank you for standing up in the fight against cancer. I'm thankful for the ability to be able to participate. Have a blessed holiday season.
Regards,
Dave
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Since November 15th I've been on the verge of tears every moment of every day. I'll not go into details but for about a week I finally came to terms and have spent a week without tears. Your post just put me back there.
I'm truly sorry for your loss, especially to have to watch your father wither away physically. But damn, what a man! To fight like he did to have every last second with you, your siblings, his family, etc...what an inspiration. He sounds very much like my father. I'm crying now for you Dave.
You are now the proud owner of a legacy that your father built. From the sound of it you have a big job to carry that legacy. From what I've seen you should be able to do it.
I wish you and your family quick healing and peace. And make sure you hold on to the good.
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Thanks to all of you for your support and for sharing your own personal experiences.
I am happy to report that we are now approximately 1/3 of the way to our goal :D
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You're A Wonderful Caring Community...
As Dave's aunt and his Dad's little sister, it's been hard for me to sit down and read Dave's words and all of your heartfelt comments. The pain of losing my brother is still raw. Feeling Dave's extended community, reading what you've each gone thru and knowing we're all in this together is comforting. My brother had a kind, caring heart. He was an incredible listener who knew what words to say when they were needed to provide comfort, guidance and solace. How I miss those words! But now I'm looking beyond words, finding his presence inside me and hoping that by learning from him I can help others. Cancer took him away from us, as so many of you out there have lost friends and family to cancer. It's a horrible disease, a difficult one to fight and yet it's important to me to fight back. I don't want to see others go thru what our family went thru. Dave's raffle really heaten's me, each response lifts my spirits. It's a way to fight back. I'm making a donation ... because I need to fight back, because I want to be part of this wonderful community and because we really have a chance of winning if we fight this battle together.
May 2009 see us win some more battles against cancer.
Reva
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Re: New fight against cancer charity raffle!
great cause, horrible disease. my sister lost her job 4 months ago and her health insurance was canceled. she rejected cobra because of the expense and 1 1/2 months ago received a prelim diagnosis of stage 2 breast cancer.
I am in for 2 tickets, wish I could do more.
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anychance i can do this through google checkout? just curious, as I'd rather not make a whole account through paypal.
also, any chance we can see the current progress of the donations to the goal, i think that'd be interesting :)
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Is the raffle still open for both? I finally have the cash to do it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
scape
anychance i can do this through google checkout? just curious, as I'd rather not make a whole account through paypal.
also, any chance we can see the current progress of the donations to the goal, i think that'd be interesting :)
Hi Scape,
We are not set up for google checkout. You can send a check or we can accept your donation by credit card if you want to call it in.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
boludaso
Is the raffle still open for both? I finally have the cash to do it.
Both raffles still open...
Raffle # 1 has only a few tickets still available ( I believe there are 6 tickets left as of today)
Raffle # 2 has plenty of tickets still left...
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Fellow forum frequent browsers,
If you have my-space/Facebook page or are in any other chat forums, do you think you could post link to this raffle?
It's a really good cause and many, many peoples lives have been touched by some form of cancer. I've already posted in the few other places I visit, but sadly don't have alot of friends online...
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I'm in.
(2) for #1, and (1) for #2
Payment sent.
Gary
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Sent you payment couple days ago Dave, 2 #1 and 1 #2. God bless and I hope all these little drops in the bucket can add up to one big splash in this fight.
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5 tickets left for raffle #1 :D
160 tickets left for raffle # 2 :(